Actually the last 2 days were very similar.
Yesterday I awoke around 9 am and took another run at the field with the tractor, and had a nice surprise of being paid for all the tractorin I've been doing. I grabbed a shower and headed off to the city to clean the house! I arrived around 2 and had barely put a dent in the cleaning by meeting time, that I skipped the meeting and worked on through the evening. Then I finally hit a stopping point(I at least had one bathroom completely clean) and 3 of us headed up to dead karaoke where I enjoyed a game of pool and I believe I got 5 or 6 songs in! I, of course could not sleep when I got home and so I threw in some laundry and tinkered around with the now, no longer broken computer. I left mine at the house I was cleaning. I finally managed sleepiness around 3am and turned on my radio, noticed about 5 songs before I drifted off. I was woken by my phone alarm reminding me to take medicine, and attempted to go back to sleep this morning, but decided to get up and begin the day instead. It had poured all day yesterday and actually cooled off considerably, so there was plenty of mud on the field when I went out to take what I'm hoping is the final run on the tractor, until the field needs mowing anyway. It is a very different experience tractorin in mud then just slightly dampened sand. And there were a few flooded spaces that almost got the better of me. Luckily reverse was my friend and I did a decent job of avoiding the dicey areas. After the run on the tractor this morning, I hoped in the shower and headed off to my doctor appointment. I got lost on the way and ended up 1/2 hour late. I was seen anyway, and when the doctor came in he came in quickly to let me know he was going to be a minute because he needed to quickly stitch someones hand. I was okay with waiting, seeing as I was late and it's costing me very little, oh yeah and the doctor was super cute, and of course married. He was extremely friendly and is actually going to have me try a new medicine for sleeping. I'm hopeful that it will work without suicidal side effects. Plus he got me all the prescriptions I needed that fit my budget. And because he was concerned about my history of addiction, depression and my auto-immune disease he had the counselor come in and see me right away. The counselors attitude creeped me out a little. I almost wanted to say I won't kill myself if you talk to me directly. I felt like his tone was very calming as if to say don't agitate the crazy person. Which, naturally made me feel crazy. Because I had just spent the better part of a few hours talking about my history I was feeling rather down. I had to finish cleaning the house and off I went. It took me the better part of the evening to finish it. And it was incredible! And I was praised many times for it, which definitely made me feel good. It was most certainly honest work! Now I am back at the ranch, I have fixed myself dinner, which I will enjoy in front of the tv and shortly thereafter, hopefully get some sleep for my full day tomorrow. It's full but doesn't involve much labor, so I'm looking forward to it.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Day 14 June 27, 2010
"This too shall pass."
I awoke this morning at 7:19, thinking it was later and that I had not turned on my alarm, only to realize I still had 11 minutes till my alarm went off, and it was in fact not turned on. So I turned it on and went back to sleep for 11 more minutes. It's amazing how fast 11 minutes goes when you are trying to sleep in. I lay in bed listening to the music for a few minutes before I found the motivation to get up. We left the house early to make it to the good meeting on time and ended up being almost 1/2 hour early! Hooray. I hate being late, or even right on time. Although now I know that we don't need to leave so early. There is a balance somewhere. The meeting was good as usual, and people are beginning to recognize us and approach us. The fellowship here is so amazing. And the sky here is incredible! After the meeting we headed to a party. I got to talk to my sponsor for a bit. We mingled with some people we knew, and got to know a few we didn't. Until emotions came in. Now that I've got mine back they are there! I got a text that I didn't want and got probably more emotional about it than was appropriate for the situation. But I shared about it, and later went in search of the truth, which I still have not discovered, and will at some point tomorrow. There was a point in the party where it was just time for us to go. We spent enough time there to be social but nearing the point where it was getting to uncomfortable to try and fake it anymore, so we left and came back to the ranch. Where I did some laundry and attempted a nap. I never did get any sleep. I am so tired and I feel like I didn't really do much today.
Hopefully I can get a full nights sleep tonight. At the party it was becoming increasingly clear to me that the object of my current affection is not into me at all, and as I examined the signs that was obvious. And suddenly now that I have my lust back and am free of the pain of my last relationship(or I thought I was), loneliness has reentered the picture. As we were watching a movie tonight, there was a scene where the boyfriend is leaving and the girlfriend is in bed sleeping and he goes to her to say goodbye and he loves her, and I was suddenly sad because it brought back the memory of several mornings together. How did I get it so wrong? Somehow letting it all go has left this big gaping hole in my heart and its not painful like it was when he wasn't there anymore, but its a loneliness I don't much care for. And why is it so hard for me to just find someone?
After my futile attempts at napping I watched a disney channel original movie that I've been wanting to see, and somewhere near the end was joined by the others who had spent the rest of the afternoon into the evening actually doing some work, and I felt guilty for not helping, but I felt useless and drained and the way you feel when you have an auto-immune disease and some days it gets the best of you. Today, I allowed it to get the best of me by not being able to let go of the information I had received.
After that movie was over we ordered "Remember Me," the ordering process turned into an ordeal, but was worth it. The movie was definitely good, not in the sense that you felt happy after having watched it, but that it invoked emotion the whole way through. I would say more, but for sake of those who may want to see it will leave it at that as to not give away anything. It was probably not the best choice in movie for us for this particular evening.
I was then once again left to my own narcoleptic devices. So I watched some tv, and am writing this blog. As I was typing about the heart-hole I got one of those good loud balling cries going and decided to move outside to not disturb anyone. It is so nice out here, I can't believe it. I wish there was a hammock and a bug candle, and I would just sleep out here. It would be even nicer if there were someone there to hold. I'm missing my good cuddle and hugger friends from home right now. And the one really awesome hugger in this town is going out of town for a week. I did get a text from the next room, I am thoroughly amused by this, about getting up and tractorin' in the morning. Tomorrow is going to be a lot of work, and I know it will all be good and cleansing for me, but the thought of everything I have to do overwhelms me right now. Somehow, somewhere I suddenly have too much to do, and most of the next week planned out. Just when I was getting used to living one day at a time, I have the next week done. I wonder what it looks like if I pray for spontaneity?
I awoke this morning at 7:19, thinking it was later and that I had not turned on my alarm, only to realize I still had 11 minutes till my alarm went off, and it was in fact not turned on. So I turned it on and went back to sleep for 11 more minutes. It's amazing how fast 11 minutes goes when you are trying to sleep in. I lay in bed listening to the music for a few minutes before I found the motivation to get up. We left the house early to make it to the good meeting on time and ended up being almost 1/2 hour early! Hooray. I hate being late, or even right on time. Although now I know that we don't need to leave so early. There is a balance somewhere. The meeting was good as usual, and people are beginning to recognize us and approach us. The fellowship here is so amazing. And the sky here is incredible! After the meeting we headed to a party. I got to talk to my sponsor for a bit. We mingled with some people we knew, and got to know a few we didn't. Until emotions came in. Now that I've got mine back they are there! I got a text that I didn't want and got probably more emotional about it than was appropriate for the situation. But I shared about it, and later went in search of the truth, which I still have not discovered, and will at some point tomorrow. There was a point in the party where it was just time for us to go. We spent enough time there to be social but nearing the point where it was getting to uncomfortable to try and fake it anymore, so we left and came back to the ranch. Where I did some laundry and attempted a nap. I never did get any sleep. I am so tired and I feel like I didn't really do much today.
Hopefully I can get a full nights sleep tonight. At the party it was becoming increasingly clear to me that the object of my current affection is not into me at all, and as I examined the signs that was obvious. And suddenly now that I have my lust back and am free of the pain of my last relationship(or I thought I was), loneliness has reentered the picture. As we were watching a movie tonight, there was a scene where the boyfriend is leaving and the girlfriend is in bed sleeping and he goes to her to say goodbye and he loves her, and I was suddenly sad because it brought back the memory of several mornings together. How did I get it so wrong? Somehow letting it all go has left this big gaping hole in my heart and its not painful like it was when he wasn't there anymore, but its a loneliness I don't much care for. And why is it so hard for me to just find someone?
After my futile attempts at napping I watched a disney channel original movie that I've been wanting to see, and somewhere near the end was joined by the others who had spent the rest of the afternoon into the evening actually doing some work, and I felt guilty for not helping, but I felt useless and drained and the way you feel when you have an auto-immune disease and some days it gets the best of you. Today, I allowed it to get the best of me by not being able to let go of the information I had received.
After that movie was over we ordered "Remember Me," the ordering process turned into an ordeal, but was worth it. The movie was definitely good, not in the sense that you felt happy after having watched it, but that it invoked emotion the whole way through. I would say more, but for sake of those who may want to see it will leave it at that as to not give away anything. It was probably not the best choice in movie for us for this particular evening.
I was then once again left to my own narcoleptic devices. So I watched some tv, and am writing this blog. As I was typing about the heart-hole I got one of those good loud balling cries going and decided to move outside to not disturb anyone. It is so nice out here, I can't believe it. I wish there was a hammock and a bug candle, and I would just sleep out here. It would be even nicer if there were someone there to hold. I'm missing my good cuddle and hugger friends from home right now. And the one really awesome hugger in this town is going out of town for a week. I did get a text from the next room, I am thoroughly amused by this, about getting up and tractorin' in the morning. Tomorrow is going to be a lot of work, and I know it will all be good and cleansing for me, but the thought of everything I have to do overwhelms me right now. Somehow, somewhere I suddenly have too much to do, and most of the next week planned out. Just when I was getting used to living one day at a time, I have the next week done. I wonder what it looks like if I pray for spontaneity?
Day 13 June 26, 2010
Today was an exceptionally extraordinary day! I got my feelings back again. I don't know where they were, but they came back. It seems as though once one feeling(lust) found its way in(out?) they all just flooded through. But that was the end of the day...so lets go back to the beginning.
I awoke and headed straight to the computer to continue on re-installing, scanning, fine tunning, etc. I thought about my sponsor very late the night before(and as such couldn't call her right then, so mental noted to call first thing), so I called her while I was working on that. She actually answered the phone and we got to talk for an hour. Which apparently was long enough to aggravate others who felt I should have gone out and tractored the semi-wet field the very moment I was asked. My recovery comes first and I was out the door as soon as I was off the phone, with the field partly dried in the middle where the sun was beating down. I took several runs around the field, and we added logs, pipes, and heavy objects to get the "rake" closer to the ground in order to better smooth out the clumps, which seemed to help. I was going to try doing a rain dance tonight to make it rain again tonight so that I could get up and tractor in the morning, but I am already not in bed and have to be up early for the good meeting(why does it have to be in the morning?)! Despite the early hour, it is the best meeting within a 50 mile radius that I have been to so far.
After my morning which turned into early afternoon tractor extravaganza I headed back in to work some more on the computer(which has yet to have my undivided attention, or it would have been done ages ago), and hopped on mine while it was working, to get a call about plans for the afternoon, and have to suddenly get up and shower and head out, which turned out to be about the best idea!
I arrived at the house of the man(and friend) who is hiring me to come clean for a price I feel is a little high, but he feels is extremely generous(it's a really clean house that just needs basic cleaning, plus once I do it the first time I'll have a good idea of my rhythm and it will be methodical). Then we headed to an art show of one of his friends(is it just me or are some of these guys just way to good looking?) where I met a few more really awesome people. And after that we got to a speaker meeting, where I related all too much to the speaker and had another one of those realizations that "our" lives are horrific before we become miracles(and sometimes even after that). Then off to a friends house for fellowship! This town sure does know how to fellowship. There I had an incredibly good time, and I am really beginning to feel a part of. It's a lot of work to build new friendships and maintain the old ones, too. Plus it's a really odd sensation building a "life" knowing I will be leaving shortly(or that's the plan anyway). But it also seems so unnatural to do anything else. I shared with one of my favorite people here about my thoughts of having a summer fling, but with who? And his feelings were the same as mine, the person who I am already crushing on. It seems very comfortable and natural again to have a crush, and I'm not really sure how or when it happened but I think two days ago I fully let go off the rest of the hurt and pain surrounding my "breakup." I realized that after I was sharing about it without my eyes filling with tears. I feel that kind of freedom that only comes once you've let something go and notice that it's gone. I wish I could explain that feeling, the lightness, and uncertain joy, with that touch of reminiscence of the good times and really knowing I deserve and will have better.
After an incredible day I had a beautiful full moon to guide me on my drive back "home," the roads were clear and smooth and the drive back is now embedded in my memory and my cars and we can just do it without really thinking or looking or wondering. I love the feeling of knowing. The sky out here is so alluring and the air so crisp, clean, and clear. I find myself wondering if I could fall in love with this place and leave Cali, a place that's ingrained in my very being? I catch myself saying its not possible and in the same breath(yes I do talk to myself) knowing that anything is possible and I am open-minded to any change that may happen in my life. I just hope I won't do it at the expense of my dreams, and convince myself that whatever path I may take is my new dream.
I find myself feeling awkward at the praise and encouragement I have been receiving from my loyal follower. It's not as though I don't have a support system of people who don't do this on a regular basis but I somehow fear that all these things people tell me I am (honest, integrity, hard-working) are just the act I used to do and that I'm just going to end up hurting them and disappointing them and I am somehow doing these things just to get in there good graces and take advantage of that. Then I remember that no these things are in fact who I am and will continue to be and I find that so strange. And every time I am praised or appreciated or loved, I notice that it feels extremely uncomfortable, still. I wonder will it ever feel natural to just be uplifted and be in love with me and believe I am the person people tell me I am? Just tonight on my glorious drive home I found myself listening to the words in my nasty diseased head telling me that I am just the "friend" and not pretty, skinny, good enough to be the girl someone goes for. And once they've made me feel sufficiently special enough to get in my good graces so they can pursue "my friend." And really seeing myself as some drab unattractive fat "die alone with her cats" person. Then, I logged into my facebook(my first positive experience with facebook-I have successfully found my fb boundaries!) and saw the pictures of myself that I was tagged in, especially the one where I wasn't trying so hard to look fancy and realized I am not just beautiful(inside and out) but pretty damn cute, too! And I deserve to feel that way. And I should not let my thoughts about how someone else feels about me dictate how I feel about myself!
I feel as though I have inaccurately captured just how magnificent this day was for me. I go to bed with a joyous and free heart, blissfully looking forward to what tomorrow may bring.
I awoke and headed straight to the computer to continue on re-installing, scanning, fine tunning, etc. I thought about my sponsor very late the night before(and as such couldn't call her right then, so mental noted to call first thing), so I called her while I was working on that. She actually answered the phone and we got to talk for an hour. Which apparently was long enough to aggravate others who felt I should have gone out and tractored the semi-wet field the very moment I was asked. My recovery comes first and I was out the door as soon as I was off the phone, with the field partly dried in the middle where the sun was beating down. I took several runs around the field, and we added logs, pipes, and heavy objects to get the "rake" closer to the ground in order to better smooth out the clumps, which seemed to help. I was going to try doing a rain dance tonight to make it rain again tonight so that I could get up and tractor in the morning, but I am already not in bed and have to be up early for the good meeting(why does it have to be in the morning?)! Despite the early hour, it is the best meeting within a 50 mile radius that I have been to so far.
After my morning which turned into early afternoon tractor extravaganza I headed back in to work some more on the computer(which has yet to have my undivided attention, or it would have been done ages ago), and hopped on mine while it was working, to get a call about plans for the afternoon, and have to suddenly get up and shower and head out, which turned out to be about the best idea!
I arrived at the house of the man(and friend) who is hiring me to come clean for a price I feel is a little high, but he feels is extremely generous(it's a really clean house that just needs basic cleaning, plus once I do it the first time I'll have a good idea of my rhythm and it will be methodical). Then we headed to an art show of one of his friends(is it just me or are some of these guys just way to good looking?) where I met a few more really awesome people. And after that we got to a speaker meeting, where I related all too much to the speaker and had another one of those realizations that "our" lives are horrific before we become miracles(and sometimes even after that). Then off to a friends house for fellowship! This town sure does know how to fellowship. There I had an incredibly good time, and I am really beginning to feel a part of. It's a lot of work to build new friendships and maintain the old ones, too. Plus it's a really odd sensation building a "life" knowing I will be leaving shortly(or that's the plan anyway). But it also seems so unnatural to do anything else. I shared with one of my favorite people here about my thoughts of having a summer fling, but with who? And his feelings were the same as mine, the person who I am already crushing on. It seems very comfortable and natural again to have a crush, and I'm not really sure how or when it happened but I think two days ago I fully let go off the rest of the hurt and pain surrounding my "breakup." I realized that after I was sharing about it without my eyes filling with tears. I feel that kind of freedom that only comes once you've let something go and notice that it's gone. I wish I could explain that feeling, the lightness, and uncertain joy, with that touch of reminiscence of the good times and really knowing I deserve and will have better.
After an incredible day I had a beautiful full moon to guide me on my drive back "home," the roads were clear and smooth and the drive back is now embedded in my memory and my cars and we can just do it without really thinking or looking or wondering. I love the feeling of knowing. The sky out here is so alluring and the air so crisp, clean, and clear. I find myself wondering if I could fall in love with this place and leave Cali, a place that's ingrained in my very being? I catch myself saying its not possible and in the same breath(yes I do talk to myself) knowing that anything is possible and I am open-minded to any change that may happen in my life. I just hope I won't do it at the expense of my dreams, and convince myself that whatever path I may take is my new dream.
I find myself feeling awkward at the praise and encouragement I have been receiving from my loyal follower. It's not as though I don't have a support system of people who don't do this on a regular basis but I somehow fear that all these things people tell me I am (honest, integrity, hard-working) are just the act I used to do and that I'm just going to end up hurting them and disappointing them and I am somehow doing these things just to get in there good graces and take advantage of that. Then I remember that no these things are in fact who I am and will continue to be and I find that so strange. And every time I am praised or appreciated or loved, I notice that it feels extremely uncomfortable, still. I wonder will it ever feel natural to just be uplifted and be in love with me and believe I am the person people tell me I am? Just tonight on my glorious drive home I found myself listening to the words in my nasty diseased head telling me that I am just the "friend" and not pretty, skinny, good enough to be the girl someone goes for. And once they've made me feel sufficiently special enough to get in my good graces so they can pursue "my friend." And really seeing myself as some drab unattractive fat "die alone with her cats" person. Then, I logged into my facebook(my first positive experience with facebook-I have successfully found my fb boundaries!) and saw the pictures of myself that I was tagged in, especially the one where I wasn't trying so hard to look fancy and realized I am not just beautiful(inside and out) but pretty damn cute, too! And I deserve to feel that way. And I should not let my thoughts about how someone else feels about me dictate how I feel about myself!
I feel as though I have inaccurately captured just how magnificent this day was for me. I go to bed with a joyous and free heart, blissfully looking forward to what tomorrow may bring.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Day 11 and 12 June 24 and 25, 2010
Thursday I had set my alarm to get up early to head off the the MVD(new mexico's equivalent to the Dmv) to get a state id. I only hit snooze twice and decided the music on my alarm was so crappy I would get up just to change the station. I got ready and was on my way to where I thought I new I was going. Turns out I was wrong, and suddenly not so sure of myself anymore. Thank god for cell phones. I called and was given extremely good direction, and ended up being 15 minutes late to my appointment, but seen all the same. They really wanted me to surrender my license and asked "why don't you want to surrender your license?" I politely and honestly stated I wasn't sure if I was going to stay. This satisfied the workers need to take away my california license, and I was able to pay the $10 fee for a state id, got a temporary and was on my way. I headed over to the "income support" office to apply for state medical only to be informed that all they do is send off the paperwork and there is currently a waiting list, and I can call to check and see how long the waiting list is(quite discouraging). Luckily there are state run facilities and doctors visits are reasonable, if you have income of course. I always manage to have everything I need taken care of and I am truly not worried,which is oddly serene and nice for a change to believe down to the depths that I am okay and will continue to be okay. There is an abundance in this world, and I have been a recipient of said abundance, and I will continue to be. After the joyous morning of so few errands that took up so much time, I headed back to the house where I continued to ponder the computer in desperate need of repair, and began searching solutions for the now broken i-pod. I managed to save the i-pod and after many hours of searching find no cost solutions for backing up i-tunes, and found restore disks to save the computer(not mine by the way). With solutions in hand off we went to the local meeting, which turned out to be extremely disappointing. We came back, I ate some dinner, futzed around a bit then fell asleep watching tv, awaking hours later only to turn off the tv.
I awoke this morning at 9am ready to start the backup process on the i-tunes and restore the computer and that's where I headed. It was 28 disks to backup i-tunes and approximately 2 hours. Around noon I took a run on the tractor, to attempt to even out the field, which apparently failed, but granted me much need serenity, to combat yet another emotion filled day. I wonder if it will all take its toll and I will fall apart or if I am so connected with my God right now that I really am just okay? My skills are being utilized to their fullest, thats for sure. After my tractor run I fixed some lunch and continued on the computer. I finished up the i-tunes backup and began the restore process. Now I'm down to virus scan and making sure the drivers do not need reinstalling(which will wait until tomorrow). We made plans to head off to the city to get a local number for the soon to be open hunter/jumper business with hopefully plenty of time to make the youth meeting. Ahh how wonderful plans can be, especially when they don't work out! We headed out and I was finally able to get my prescription transferred out here so that was the first stop because it was on our way out of town. T-mobil was next on the list and we alloted one hour, but it ended up taking 2 and in the end was still $20 more than she wanted to spend, but got a good number for the business none-the-less. Being as we missed the meeting, we headed out just to fellowship instead, at a Greek restaurant that was less than delicious, but fellowship was nice. I notice that I am learning my way around and that I am feeling less disconnected, and am actually starting to make friends. I'm going to miss everyone when I leave in a couple months, I will have started to build incredible friendships. We headed in for the night, and drove straight into lighting and rain, which has made for an incredibly beautiful night, so much so that when I am done with this blog I may take my laptop and its calming meditation music and my fabulous im conversation out onto the patio for a few.
In other doesn't fit into the what I did in my day news I had the weirdest dream about someone back home, in the capacity that was lovey dovey. It made me miss them terribly, and really examine my feelings for them. But I won't be home for a while and sometimes I read my subconscious thoughts incorrectly...I will do some personal journaling about that. I am beginning to feel "lonely" in that capacity and yearning for something more.
And I've still been having this extremely intense deja vu at least three times a day. I'm not sure what to do about it.
I did get a call about another interview, which is next wednesday at 2. I do need to call back a temp agency on monday which had several jobs I was interested in and one was a 90 day position. And thats it!
I awoke this morning at 9am ready to start the backup process on the i-tunes and restore the computer and that's where I headed. It was 28 disks to backup i-tunes and approximately 2 hours. Around noon I took a run on the tractor, to attempt to even out the field, which apparently failed, but granted me much need serenity, to combat yet another emotion filled day. I wonder if it will all take its toll and I will fall apart or if I am so connected with my God right now that I really am just okay? My skills are being utilized to their fullest, thats for sure. After my tractor run I fixed some lunch and continued on the computer. I finished up the i-tunes backup and began the restore process. Now I'm down to virus scan and making sure the drivers do not need reinstalling(which will wait until tomorrow). We made plans to head off to the city to get a local number for the soon to be open hunter/jumper business with hopefully plenty of time to make the youth meeting. Ahh how wonderful plans can be, especially when they don't work out! We headed out and I was finally able to get my prescription transferred out here so that was the first stop because it was on our way out of town. T-mobil was next on the list and we alloted one hour, but it ended up taking 2 and in the end was still $20 more than she wanted to spend, but got a good number for the business none-the-less. Being as we missed the meeting, we headed out just to fellowship instead, at a Greek restaurant that was less than delicious, but fellowship was nice. I notice that I am learning my way around and that I am feeling less disconnected, and am actually starting to make friends. I'm going to miss everyone when I leave in a couple months, I will have started to build incredible friendships. We headed in for the night, and drove straight into lighting and rain, which has made for an incredibly beautiful night, so much so that when I am done with this blog I may take my laptop and its calming meditation music and my fabulous im conversation out onto the patio for a few.
In other doesn't fit into the what I did in my day news I had the weirdest dream about someone back home, in the capacity that was lovey dovey. It made me miss them terribly, and really examine my feelings for them. But I won't be home for a while and sometimes I read my subconscious thoughts incorrectly...I will do some personal journaling about that. I am beginning to feel "lonely" in that capacity and yearning for something more.
And I've still been having this extremely intense deja vu at least three times a day. I'm not sure what to do about it.
I did get a call about another interview, which is next wednesday at 2. I do need to call back a temp agency on monday which had several jobs I was interested in and one was a 90 day position. And thats it!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Day 10 June 23, 2010
It was an ordinary Wednesday of chores. We stayed around the house all day. I got to do some more tractorin', tillin' up the field for the arena. We did a little painting of the jumps. I made some phone calls, and was able to fix the broken computer with the help of my very good friend. That took up 10 hours. And that's as exciting as day 10's adventures were.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Day 8 & 9 June 21-22 2010
Yesterday(being day 8) I had my very first New Mexico interview! I awoke 2 hours before my alarm and decided just to get ready and run errands or whatever before I headed into "the city"(albuqueruqe). I ended up on hold with a local government office, which I never got through to before I had to leave for my interview. I interview pretty well, so it went well for a $9/hr 8 1/2 hr day on your feet all day job. I was not offered the job right away, but wasn't given the "we have to make a decision" speech. It was "I just need to check your references, and give you a call." I know those will check out, but I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that I would have to take the job, in order to get a job here. Apparently its a discriminatory town that only hires people from here, so in order to not be considered an out of towner I have to be given a chance. I'm not sure if I put any stock to that but I haven't been having any luck even getting an interview and its hard to turn down any job in this economy with no income to speak of. I just keep turning it over to my HP, I'll get the job I'm supposed to have while I am here. After my interview I had already had planned on running to the stores that we don't have here in town like Target and Trader Joes. I decided to first go to the mvd(new mexicos dmv) but ended up at an express who wanted $25 service charge for a $10 Id. I decided that I would just go to the actuall mvd, which of course was closed at that point. I headed over to Sallys Beauty supply for some "female maintenance" stuff. By this time I was hungry and needed some lunch, there was a Boston Market right there and so I decided to stop in. They were having a discount of some sort and I saved $2 on my lunch, which was cool, and it was delicious, plus there was enough left over to take some home with me for a second meal. At that point I had only enough time for one last errand and I decided on Trader Joes, which was a great choice! Every where I went that day I kept missing my turns and had to turn around and around and around. Ah the joys of living in a place you know nothing about and can't figure out! I made it out of the store with plenty of time to make it to the really good monday night meeting. I was actually early and talked to a couple people I am acquainted with. I had this feeling walking in that I would be asked to "lead" but only got a reading, and thought it was odd my instinct was wrong, then a few minutes later I was asked to switch and lead. At least I know my intuition isn't wrong. After the meeting a large group went out to a new Thai restaurant. It was alright, and the mango sticky rice was it's saving grace. Then we headed over to karaoke, which was totally dead and we got to sing a bunch of songs, plus the kj/bartender was shamelessly flirting with me all night. It was a very long day all done in heels, none-the-less and I was ready for sleep! I did get to sleep in till about 11, when I woke up this morning. I began my day with phone calls to various government agencies, one being to make and appointment at mvd. I was on hold with them for 2 hours when the phone died and lost the call. I called back immediately and my call was answered right away! I have an appointment for Thursday. After most of my morning had been shot we discussed plans for the evening. It was mundane, grocery shopping, a quick dinner out the door to an 8pm meeting then off to the karaoke contest where 2 girls whose birthday it was had all their friends and despite how good I was made no difference. I'm just not a karaoke contest winner. Those were the basics, not a very adventurous few days out here in the desert, just life.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Days 6 & 7 June 19-20, 2010
Saturday. Dad had to leave at 3am to go to breakfast before his flight. He was safely back in Cali before I even got out of bed. The first thing I did was move all my stuff in the bedroom and rearranged the furniture the way I liked it, discovered I could clear it out completely and make it all mine. So I spent a better part of the morning, well into the afternoon clearing out, fulling intending on putting all my stuff away, which just never happened. At some point we discussed plans for the evening and after much discussion(it seems to take at least 1/2 hour of discussion before we make plans this week) we decided we would skip the meeting that night in order to go to a meeting an hour away this morning, and unpack the rest of the trailer. We waited for the heat of the day to dissipate and spent the better part of a few hours in the evening unpacking the trailer into the guest house and some stuff into the tack barn, which was a project in and of itself, because the yard was still flooded and muddy, so we first had to set down pallets in front of the tackroom and find enough dry space to walk the items into the tackroom. We successfully managed all that and headed in for the evening where we took turns showering. Showering is done in the evening when you spend your days outside working. It's a shock to my normal routine, but I'll adjust, probably around the same time I go home. We discussed plans for leaving in the morning to make the meeting on-time.
Sunday. This morning I set my alarm with enough time to get up and shower and eat breakfast, but when my alarm went off I wanted to sleep some more, because once again I couldn't sleep. I am the only one who doesn't get to bed before midnight. Ahh the life of an insomniac. So I slept for another hour and woke to wash face, brush teeth and get dressed when I noticed my nose ring was not in my nose. I went in search of it and found it right on the bed. It's the first time since I first had it pierced that it has fallen out. I must have been scratching it and pulled it out in my sleep. It had closed up a bit and I had to push it back through. That was a little painful, and now its tight, which hopefully means it won't fall out again tonight. By the time I did get ready to go I had run out of time for breakfast, so I just grabbed some strawberries and we were out the door, 15 minutes later than we wanted to leave and we managed to still make it on time for the meeting. The meeting was great and we went out to breakfast afterward which was filled with some good conversation and a fair share of not so good conversation. I did learn some useful information about finding, and getting a job out here. And I'm starting to feel a little discouraged, but I'm not about to let it stop me. I know I'm supposed to be here, because I have this ongoing deja vu that has long past getting on my nerves into just straight annoying. I need to find a spirit guide, or someone that has some knowledge/experience with deja vu and figure out if I can use it, harness it, make this uncomfortable feeling less awkward and more familiar somehow. We got home from meeting and breakfast and that had eaten up the morning and most of the afternoon. We got to lay down for a little bit, and decided sleep just wasn't happening and suddenly this inactivity made us feel extremely bored and like we needed to do something. So we decided to head out to this cute little gift shop we had seen on the way into town. It turned out to be closed, cuz it's sunday in a small town, and we headed back to the house. Where we suddenly had plenty to do with needing to go to the hardware store and get stuff for the jumps being built. We headed up to the hardware store that was surprisingly empty, which meant we got extremely personal service with more than one person helping us. That took up the better part of the evening. We got in to unload, have some dinner, watched Legally Blonde and everyone has headed off to bed. And the adventure continues...
Sunday. This morning I set my alarm with enough time to get up and shower and eat breakfast, but when my alarm went off I wanted to sleep some more, because once again I couldn't sleep. I am the only one who doesn't get to bed before midnight. Ahh the life of an insomniac. So I slept for another hour and woke to wash face, brush teeth and get dressed when I noticed my nose ring was not in my nose. I went in search of it and found it right on the bed. It's the first time since I first had it pierced that it has fallen out. I must have been scratching it and pulled it out in my sleep. It had closed up a bit and I had to push it back through. That was a little painful, and now its tight, which hopefully means it won't fall out again tonight. By the time I did get ready to go I had run out of time for breakfast, so I just grabbed some strawberries and we were out the door, 15 minutes later than we wanted to leave and we managed to still make it on time for the meeting. The meeting was great and we went out to breakfast afterward which was filled with some good conversation and a fair share of not so good conversation. I did learn some useful information about finding, and getting a job out here. And I'm starting to feel a little discouraged, but I'm not about to let it stop me. I know I'm supposed to be here, because I have this ongoing deja vu that has long past getting on my nerves into just straight annoying. I need to find a spirit guide, or someone that has some knowledge/experience with deja vu and figure out if I can use it, harness it, make this uncomfortable feeling less awkward and more familiar somehow. We got home from meeting and breakfast and that had eaten up the morning and most of the afternoon. We got to lay down for a little bit, and decided sleep just wasn't happening and suddenly this inactivity made us feel extremely bored and like we needed to do something. So we decided to head out to this cute little gift shop we had seen on the way into town. It turned out to be closed, cuz it's sunday in a small town, and we headed back to the house. Where we suddenly had plenty to do with needing to go to the hardware store and get stuff for the jumps being built. We headed up to the hardware store that was surprisingly empty, which meant we got extremely personal service with more than one person helping us. That took up the better part of the evening. We got in to unload, have some dinner, watched Legally Blonde and everyone has headed off to bed. And the adventure continues...
Friday, June 18, 2010
End of Day 5-Day 6 June 18, 2010
The rest of yesterday: the heat of the day where you have to stay inside part of the afternoon, I was asked to read the following: http://somethingbeautifuljournal.blogspot.com/(check it out, it's really awesome!) I may get to do some editing on the next article written, then we talked about her ideas for a web based business and how she got started with it, etc. It was really quite nice leisure afternoon. I headed off to an "in-town"(mostly meaning I don't have to drive into Albuquerque, the closest meeting is still 11 miles away) meeting at 6:30, to make it on time and give myself some time to fellowship or get lost, which I did on both counts. It was a small and good meeting, although the only 2 other women there had less than a year clean, but welcomed me all the same. I still get uncomfortable walking into meetings I don't know, even though I know it's just the same as any other meeting. I just have learned how to walk through the uncomfortable feelings. I know it'll get easier as time goes on it just feels awkward. My good friend reminded me today that it's only been 5 days and it will take some time to adjust. I know that's true, I would just like to believe that I can somehow control the length of time till I feel "okay," by acting as if I'm already adjusted, and of course backing it with the action necessary to adjust. And by the time I've done all that I'll probably be on my way back to Cali.
I came back from the meeting and shared my experience with the house, made some dinner, watched some tv way past everyone going to bed(again-I couldn't sleep), finally got tired enough to attempt sleep, layed down and the next thing I knew someone was waking me....
This morning I was awoken by a pretty lady telling me it was time to get up and go walk up the hill(pictured right). I washed off my face, threw on some clothes, grabbed a quick bite, a bottle of water, my camera, a borrowed hat, and we were off to take a walk up the mountain(it's actually somewhere between a hill and a mountain maybe a 1/2 mile or so up). We took the dog, who turned out to be a wonderful trail guide, especially half way up when the trail gets a little blurred. I was taught all about some of the local history including the good friday tradition that happens in the town, of people walking from all over to the top of the hill. Some people park at the bottom and walk up(it's such a tradition that the police actually come out to direct traffic). Hundreds of people come from all around the area to participate in this good friday tradition, some of the local farmers even set out food and water for those who choose to walk to the hill from miles away. We spent some time on the top of the hill taking pictures and admiring the farms at the bottom.
At one point a train went by and spurned a discussion about how the sound of a train going by makes something in my soul come alive(a trait I share with the ranch owner here), something I thought was uniquely mine and I wondered if anyone would ever understand (N.ever A.lone). After a good amount of time picture taking, admiring the scenery, and resting we started our descent down, which was much easier than the trek up, especially for the dog who seemed to be at the bottom before we even made it half way down. We headed off to Starbucks across the other side of town, which I had yet to explore. We ran into a friend of the familys, grabbed drinks and goodies and headed back to the house. Along the way we passed by the house of the original town owners, which has been turned into a restaurant, but you can go and just walk through it if you don't want to stop to eat. It went on the list of things we will see before its just us 2 girls. We got back in to a missing dog, who turned up in the neighbors yard(there's a "dog" sized whole between the fences and once he got over to the neighbors he couldn't figure out how to get back). Since we were there I was shown the gate entrances to the neighbors, met their dog and was given the low down on if we need anything just head over, we will also get their number. It was the day to flood the field, all the ranches around here get to flood once a month, so we walked out to see how it was done. The process was explained to me, and we walked back to the house where the heat of the day was upon us. I diddled for a bit on the internet, applied for a few more jobs, watched some tv and passed out on the couch for an afternoon nap(which I really shouldn't do, because it makes it harder to get to sleep at night). I had some foresight to set an alarm in case I fell asleep, so that I could wake up in time to shower and get to the meeting. Showering first thing in the morning is not really something you want to do around here, especially if you are doing any work outside.
I didn't want to get up from my nap when my alarm went off and decided I would give myself another 45 minutes or so and still make it in time. 2 voices were talking as I drifted in and out of reality and dreams. Since someone turned off the tv that I was obviously not watching anymore, I appreciated the noise. I like the tones of conversation, they are soothing to me. When my alarm went off the second time I got up and got ready. As I was headed out the reason I'm here came in from getting ice cream with her dad just as I was headed out to the local meeting(only 3 in town during the week, any else we have to go into Albuquerque). She came with me, and the meeting wasn't all that great but we did meet some women who go into the city for meetings and offered carpool. There were also a couple women there with double digit clean time. That was good, and we(well at least I was) were pleased with the connections we made. I saw two people I had met the night before and that made it a little less awkward. It gets a little more comfortable every day. Dad is going home early in the morning, leaving here at 3 am to grab breakfast before he hops a flight back to his Fontana home, and he was asleep when we got in. The horses were up in the "parking" area because the field got over-flooded into their stalls. The dogs noisely came out to greet us when we got in. I grabbed some dinner, and we all chatted a bit. As usual everyone headed off to the land of sleep long before I ever got tired. Tomorrow I look forward to moving into what will become my bedroom, and no longer sleeping on the pull out sofa.
I have failed to mention that every since we have arrived here I have been having the strangest and on-going sense of deja-vu. So much so that it is really becoming bothersome. I have the belief that deja-vu is simply(for all you nerds who went there: "a glitch in the matrix") a bench mark I have put in my own life to let me know I am on the right path. It's a comforting feeling to think I am truly where I am supposed to be, on the other hand, I'd really like to know where I am supposed to be going, and maybe I could focus more on getting there. I suppose I will take my own "inspiration" advice and take the next step as they are presented to me. I got a call today for a job interview Monday afternoon. Hopefully they are in tomorrow and I can set that up. I think it may be a little farther than I want to drive and its not my top choice for position, but at this point any job may be better than nothing. I'll set it up and ask all my questions and find out if I feel like it would be a good fit for me. For now its off to bed I go..."to sleep ah perchance to dream."
I came back from the meeting and shared my experience with the house, made some dinner, watched some tv way past everyone going to bed(again-I couldn't sleep), finally got tired enough to attempt sleep, layed down and the next thing I knew someone was waking me....
This morning I was awoken by a pretty lady telling me it was time to get up and go walk up the hill(pictured right). I washed off my face, threw on some clothes, grabbed a quick bite, a bottle of water, my camera, a borrowed hat, and we were off to take a walk up the mountain(it's actually somewhere between a hill and a mountain maybe a 1/2 mile or so up). We took the dog, who turned out to be a wonderful trail guide, especially half way up when the trail gets a little blurred. I was taught all about some of the local history including the good friday tradition that happens in the town, of people walking from all over to the top of the hill. Some people park at the bottom and walk up(it's such a tradition that the police actually come out to direct traffic). Hundreds of people come from all around the area to participate in this good friday tradition, some of the local farmers even set out food and water for those who choose to walk to the hill from miles away. We spent some time on the top of the hill taking pictures and admiring the farms at the bottom.
At one point a train went by and spurned a discussion about how the sound of a train going by makes something in my soul come alive(a trait I share with the ranch owner here), something I thought was uniquely mine and I wondered if anyone would ever understand (N.ever A.lone). After a good amount of time picture taking, admiring the scenery, and resting we started our descent down, which was much easier than the trek up, especially for the dog who seemed to be at the bottom before we even made it half way down. We headed off to Starbucks across the other side of town, which I had yet to explore. We ran into a friend of the familys, grabbed drinks and goodies and headed back to the house. Along the way we passed by the house of the original town owners, which has been turned into a restaurant, but you can go and just walk through it if you don't want to stop to eat. It went on the list of things we will see before its just us 2 girls. We got back in to a missing dog, who turned up in the neighbors yard(there's a "dog" sized whole between the fences and once he got over to the neighbors he couldn't figure out how to get back). Since we were there I was shown the gate entrances to the neighbors, met their dog and was given the low down on if we need anything just head over, we will also get their number. It was the day to flood the field, all the ranches around here get to flood once a month, so we walked out to see how it was done. The process was explained to me, and we walked back to the house where the heat of the day was upon us. I diddled for a bit on the internet, applied for a few more jobs, watched some tv and passed out on the couch for an afternoon nap(which I really shouldn't do, because it makes it harder to get to sleep at night). I had some foresight to set an alarm in case I fell asleep, so that I could wake up in time to shower and get to the meeting. Showering first thing in the morning is not really something you want to do around here, especially if you are doing any work outside.
I didn't want to get up from my nap when my alarm went off and decided I would give myself another 45 minutes or so and still make it in time. 2 voices were talking as I drifted in and out of reality and dreams. Since someone turned off the tv that I was obviously not watching anymore, I appreciated the noise. I like the tones of conversation, they are soothing to me. When my alarm went off the second time I got up and got ready. As I was headed out the reason I'm here came in from getting ice cream with her dad just as I was headed out to the local meeting(only 3 in town during the week, any else we have to go into Albuquerque). She came with me, and the meeting wasn't all that great but we did meet some women who go into the city for meetings and offered carpool. There were also a couple women there with double digit clean time. That was good, and we(well at least I was) were pleased with the connections we made. I saw two people I had met the night before and that made it a little less awkward. It gets a little more comfortable every day. Dad is going home early in the morning, leaving here at 3 am to grab breakfast before he hops a flight back to his Fontana home, and he was asleep when we got in. The horses were up in the "parking" area because the field got over-flooded into their stalls. The dogs noisely came out to greet us when we got in. I grabbed some dinner, and we all chatted a bit. As usual everyone headed off to the land of sleep long before I ever got tired. Tomorrow I look forward to moving into what will become my bedroom, and no longer sleeping on the pull out sofa.
I have failed to mention that every since we have arrived here I have been having the strangest and on-going sense of deja-vu. So much so that it is really becoming bothersome. I have the belief that deja-vu is simply(for all you nerds who went there: "a glitch in the matrix") a bench mark I have put in my own life to let me know I am on the right path. It's a comforting feeling to think I am truly where I am supposed to be, on the other hand, I'd really like to know where I am supposed to be going, and maybe I could focus more on getting there. I suppose I will take my own "inspiration" advice and take the next step as they are presented to me. I got a call today for a job interview Monday afternoon. Hopefully they are in tomorrow and I can set that up. I think it may be a little farther than I want to drive and its not my top choice for position, but at this point any job may be better than nothing. I'll set it up and ask all my questions and find out if I feel like it would be a good fit for me. For now its off to bed I go..."to sleep ah perchance to dream."
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Day 4 June 16 2010 and the morning of Day 5 June 17 2010
I forgot to mention that on day 3 I reset the clock in my car, since we are an hour ahead of sunny so Cal time out here and I set my radio stations. I actually found a whole bunch of good ones. Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one who listens to the radio anymore.
Yesterday we intended on being out of here by 8am to make the 9am womens meeting a little early and be able to fellowship. We did not make it out until 8:30 and then got lost, which I am okay with because that is how I learn my way around. But we ended up 1/2 hour late to the meeting. We were invited out to coffee which we discussed at some length because we wanted to come back to the ranch and work on the tack room. We ultimately decided that we could work on the tack room in the evening and it would be okay to go out with the girls. It was a nice choice. We went to this cute coffee shop and the girls caught up on their lives(which is always the awkward part of being new), then they turned the conversation to us, and we were able to participate. Once again I found out that there is in fact a film industry out here I believe it has been referred to as "the new Hollywood," and that there were a couple people in the program that work in it, that may have more information. So I am checking in to that as well. I really wanted to work all summer and go home with some money, and I am still applying for "regular"(admin/clerical, etc) jobs while looking into the film industry. Who knows I may be "discovered" and just stay here. I'm just going to take it one day at a time and see how it all unfolds. For now, I am enjoying getting into a new routine and just adjusting. A job will come when it's supposed to. I've done all the footwork, the rest is up to God.
On the way back in from meeting and coffee we stopped at the local art gallery, found some pretty things, and I picked up a few magazines on trails and local art, etc, but we didn't find anything we absolutely loved and had to have, I think we are both avoiding spending any money until we have some coming in. Then I stopped at the post office to forward my mail only to discover the post office was closed for lunch! It's a one-man post office. Welcome to small town living. I am actually planning on going today but when I thought about it I noticed it was lunch time, so I decided I would update my adventure and when I was done it would be open.
When we arrived back at the house it was afternoon, time to be in. It's too hot in the days here to do any work outside. Although it's not scorching the heat is just not good to work in. We did our sitting around the "office." The dining room has been overtaken by laptops and made into a makeshift office for us all, using separate broadband. We discovered that our plans of working on the tackroom would not come to fruition because we were being treated to dinner at a local mexican restaurant in the neighboring small town. My dinner was actually better made into my scrambled egg breakfast this morning than it was as its original meal.
When we got back in we all went into our own stuff, and came together later over "Overboard." One by one everyone went to bed for the evening.
At 6:30 this morning the first early risers awoke, me not amongst them, but since I sleep fairly restlessly I lay enjoying the sounds of the morning kitchen and the low hushed tones of talking quietly to not disturb those still sleeping. Around quarter to 10 I woke because my alarm went off and because the two headed off to the chiropractor "needed to leave 15 minutes ago!" I decided I may as well just get up at that point and was offered to walk up a local small mountain that apparently is stunning at the top. By the time I was even anywhere near ready to go anywhere we were already staring down the heat of the day, so it will be postponed to another day. I have no doubt it will be something we do. I made my "leftover" breakfast which was very tasty and have been having a very leisure day. I feel like there are things that could be done and should be getting done, but its just not the case, since we are in the heat of the day. So I will head to the post office and may spend a few hours driving and exploring. I haven't decided yet. I may take a look at some of the art/trail magazines I picked up yesterday and see if there is anything I can do while still in the heat of the day.
Yesterday we intended on being out of here by 8am to make the 9am womens meeting a little early and be able to fellowship. We did not make it out until 8:30 and then got lost, which I am okay with because that is how I learn my way around. But we ended up 1/2 hour late to the meeting. We were invited out to coffee which we discussed at some length because we wanted to come back to the ranch and work on the tack room. We ultimately decided that we could work on the tack room in the evening and it would be okay to go out with the girls. It was a nice choice. We went to this cute coffee shop and the girls caught up on their lives(which is always the awkward part of being new), then they turned the conversation to us, and we were able to participate. Once again I found out that there is in fact a film industry out here I believe it has been referred to as "the new Hollywood," and that there were a couple people in the program that work in it, that may have more information. So I am checking in to that as well. I really wanted to work all summer and go home with some money, and I am still applying for "regular"(admin/clerical, etc) jobs while looking into the film industry. Who knows I may be "discovered" and just stay here. I'm just going to take it one day at a time and see how it all unfolds. For now, I am enjoying getting into a new routine and just adjusting. A job will come when it's supposed to. I've done all the footwork, the rest is up to God.
On the way back in from meeting and coffee we stopped at the local art gallery, found some pretty things, and I picked up a few magazines on trails and local art, etc, but we didn't find anything we absolutely loved and had to have, I think we are both avoiding spending any money until we have some coming in. Then I stopped at the post office to forward my mail only to discover the post office was closed for lunch! It's a one-man post office. Welcome to small town living. I am actually planning on going today but when I thought about it I noticed it was lunch time, so I decided I would update my adventure and when I was done it would be open.
When we arrived back at the house it was afternoon, time to be in. It's too hot in the days here to do any work outside. Although it's not scorching the heat is just not good to work in. We did our sitting around the "office." The dining room has been overtaken by laptops and made into a makeshift office for us all, using separate broadband. We discovered that our plans of working on the tackroom would not come to fruition because we were being treated to dinner at a local mexican restaurant in the neighboring small town. My dinner was actually better made into my scrambled egg breakfast this morning than it was as its original meal.
When we got back in we all went into our own stuff, and came together later over "Overboard." One by one everyone went to bed for the evening.
At 6:30 this morning the first early risers awoke, me not amongst them, but since I sleep fairly restlessly I lay enjoying the sounds of the morning kitchen and the low hushed tones of talking quietly to not disturb those still sleeping. Around quarter to 10 I woke because my alarm went off and because the two headed off to the chiropractor "needed to leave 15 minutes ago!" I decided I may as well just get up at that point and was offered to walk up a local small mountain that apparently is stunning at the top. By the time I was even anywhere near ready to go anywhere we were already staring down the heat of the day, so it will be postponed to another day. I have no doubt it will be something we do. I made my "leftover" breakfast which was very tasty and have been having a very leisure day. I feel like there are things that could be done and should be getting done, but its just not the case, since we are in the heat of the day. So I will head to the post office and may spend a few hours driving and exploring. I haven't decided yet. I may take a look at some of the art/trail magazines I picked up yesterday and see if there is anything I can do while still in the heat of the day.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Day 3 June 15 2010
Today I slept in a little later till about 10am. Everyone else was up and about getting stuff done from the infamous to do list. We may be cleaning out the tack barn tomorrow, we will see how the day goes.
So I decided that before I did anything I would update the blog and go from there. I had to go to the post office to mail some paperwork that I have been promising a friend and to forward my mail. Of course when I got there, I forgot to forward my mail, so I have to go again tomorrow. After I finished my blog update I got ready and decided that I would get lost after heading to the post office. I didn't do so well, turns out I'm really good in new places, or this town is so simple that I figured it out. So I went south to Belen, because up to this point we have only drive North out toward Albuquerque. After leaving the post office in Belen and following my instincts I discovered you can make a big circle back into town. I stopped for gas- a little over 40mpg this tank! My car loves the smooth highway roads of New Mexico. I stopped at the grocery store on my way back to the house to get some ground meat so I could make myself burritos(with brown rice tortillas and refried black beans, for those of you who know how I eat!). I also bought some sweet potatoes because they were on sale for .49c/pound, which turned out what just a price display error, because they were actually 1.49/pound. I didn't notice till it was to late and at that point just wanted to get back and eat. As I was cooking and putting stuff away in the fridge, I decided the disorganization of the fridge was bugging me, so I started to organize it. After I ate, I emptied the dishwasher, while talking with "mom" who joined me in cleaning the kitchen, then I tackled the fridge. It is as beautifully organized as "the closet" :-P. I was given some cupboard space for my non-refrigeration needed items and before you know it the kitchen was looking spiffy. But in order to clean the kitchen I sacrificed going to a meeting, which is okay. We are hitting the womens meeting on Wednesday morning. Has anyone ever notice that womens meetings seem to fall on Wednesdays?
We did, however go out to the karaoke contest. I didn't qualify for finals but the reason I'm here did, although we were skeptical because the finalists are chosen by the audience, which means not necessarily vocal talent. I learned a lot about what people like, so I will try a different approach next week and see if I can't qualify then. I have 6 weeks to try and qualify for the finals. I don't feel very invested in it, but it sure is fun to try. I'm actually a pretty decent singer when I pick a song that fits my range. And I wasn't very nervous, which made it easier, so I may just have a shot next week.
Our plans for tomorrow are the womens meeting, come home and hopefully work on the barn, maybe visit the Tome art gallery 1 mile up the road and karaoke at the place in town, which is nice since the meeting we are driving into in the morning puts us in Albuquerque, so this way we don't have to drive in twice. We may take a little hike someplace that I was instructed to bring my camera to. We'll know for sure tomorrow....as the adventure continues.
So I decided that before I did anything I would update the blog and go from there. I had to go to the post office to mail some paperwork that I have been promising a friend and to forward my mail. Of course when I got there, I forgot to forward my mail, so I have to go again tomorrow. After I finished my blog update I got ready and decided that I would get lost after heading to the post office. I didn't do so well, turns out I'm really good in new places, or this town is so simple that I figured it out. So I went south to Belen, because up to this point we have only drive North out toward Albuquerque. After leaving the post office in Belen and following my instincts I discovered you can make a big circle back into town. I stopped for gas- a little over 40mpg this tank! My car loves the smooth highway roads of New Mexico. I stopped at the grocery store on my way back to the house to get some ground meat so I could make myself burritos(with brown rice tortillas and refried black beans, for those of you who know how I eat!). I also bought some sweet potatoes because they were on sale for .49c/pound, which turned out what just a price display error, because they were actually 1.49/pound. I didn't notice till it was to late and at that point just wanted to get back and eat. As I was cooking and putting stuff away in the fridge, I decided the disorganization of the fridge was bugging me, so I started to organize it. After I ate, I emptied the dishwasher, while talking with "mom" who joined me in cleaning the kitchen, then I tackled the fridge. It is as beautifully organized as "the closet" :-P. I was given some cupboard space for my non-refrigeration needed items and before you know it the kitchen was looking spiffy. But in order to clean the kitchen I sacrificed going to a meeting, which is okay. We are hitting the womens meeting on Wednesday morning. Has anyone ever notice that womens meetings seem to fall on Wednesdays?
We did, however go out to the karaoke contest. I didn't qualify for finals but the reason I'm here did, although we were skeptical because the finalists are chosen by the audience, which means not necessarily vocal talent. I learned a lot about what people like, so I will try a different approach next week and see if I can't qualify then. I have 6 weeks to try and qualify for the finals. I don't feel very invested in it, but it sure is fun to try. I'm actually a pretty decent singer when I pick a song that fits my range. And I wasn't very nervous, which made it easier, so I may just have a shot next week.
Our plans for tomorrow are the womens meeting, come home and hopefully work on the barn, maybe visit the Tome art gallery 1 mile up the road and karaoke at the place in town, which is nice since the meeting we are driving into in the morning puts us in Albuquerque, so this way we don't have to drive in twice. We may take a little hike someplace that I was instructed to bring my camera to. We'll know for sure tomorrow....as the adventure continues.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Day 2 June 14 2010
It was such a full day yesterday that by the time we got in I was way to tired to even think about writing about the day. As a matter of fact I didn't brush my teeth or wash my face before I went to bed!(For those in the know, this is huge.) So I will try and capture the day as best I can.
We arose somewhere around 8. We were presented with the to do list for the day. When all was said and done a lot got done. Its amazing how much can get accomplished with 5 people working on it. My job for the day was mowing the field! I learned how to use the tractor, and after a 3/4 turn around the field I was left to my own devices. It took me about an hour and a half to get the whole thing done. I had a great time. It was so....serene just isn't the right word...but there was a calming sense about it and theres a few really great shady spots under trees that you can stop and listen to the quiet. It is so quiet out here. After my chore was through I grabbed a shower and I had a delicious lunch of thai with shrimp and pineapple a combination favorite of the household. It was very delicious. Then spent the afternoon organizing all my stuff. I started with the clothes, because I figured that was the easiest place to start, actually that's the only thing I got organized, most of the rest of the stuff will wait until "dad" leaves on Saturday and I move into my room for the summer. It was divine how all my clothes, shoes, and bags fit perfectly into the closet. I'm talking picture perfect, I was so stocked, that mom had to come take a picture of it! I'm really liking that the dresser and closet are located in the bathroom, not the bedroom, because I get dressed in the bathroom. I will have a very hard time giving that up when I am gone, and the perfect closet. I can not express enough how amazingly perfect the closet is.
Then we headed off to Albuquerque for a meeting suggested by many Albuquerquians, and met our new friends there. It was indeed a good meeting. I met a friend of my Aunts(because I can't go anywhere without being "[her] niece"-stated with no resentment, and only amusement at the abundance of my aunts social network and the worldspan of it)! Then we went for ice cream and off to the bowling alley for some karaoke. It was a quiet night, so we were able to get 3 songs in. We may go back tonight for the karaoke contest. We came home tired from the day but not the same sheer exhaustion as the night before. It was a full day, but very different pace then my full days in "LA." Now that I embark upon my day I intend on going out and getting lost just to see what I can find!
We arose somewhere around 8. We were presented with the to do list for the day. When all was said and done a lot got done. Its amazing how much can get accomplished with 5 people working on it. My job for the day was mowing the field! I learned how to use the tractor, and after a 3/4 turn around the field I was left to my own devices. It took me about an hour and a half to get the whole thing done. I had a great time. It was so....serene just isn't the right word...but there was a calming sense about it and theres a few really great shady spots under trees that you can stop and listen to the quiet. It is so quiet out here. After my chore was through I grabbed a shower and I had a delicious lunch of thai with shrimp and pineapple a combination favorite of the household. It was very delicious. Then spent the afternoon organizing all my stuff. I started with the clothes, because I figured that was the easiest place to start, actually that's the only thing I got organized, most of the rest of the stuff will wait until "dad" leaves on Saturday and I move into my room for the summer. It was divine how all my clothes, shoes, and bags fit perfectly into the closet. I'm talking picture perfect, I was so stocked, that mom had to come take a picture of it! I'm really liking that the dresser and closet are located in the bathroom, not the bedroom, because I get dressed in the bathroom. I will have a very hard time giving that up when I am gone, and the perfect closet. I can not express enough how amazingly perfect the closet is.
Then we headed off to Albuquerque for a meeting suggested by many Albuquerquians, and met our new friends there. It was indeed a good meeting. I met a friend of my Aunts(because I can't go anywhere without being "[her] niece"-stated with no resentment, and only amusement at the abundance of my aunts social network and the worldspan of it)! Then we went for ice cream and off to the bowling alley for some karaoke. It was a quiet night, so we were able to get 3 songs in. We may go back tonight for the karaoke contest. We came home tired from the day but not the same sheer exhaustion as the night before. It was a full day, but very different pace then my full days in "LA." Now that I embark upon my day I intend on going out and getting lost just to see what I can find!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Day 1 June 13 2010
Today started the summer journey...up till tonight I hadn't thought much past the drive out to Los Lunas, Nm. I was so focused on what needed to be done to get out here, keeping in touch with the reason I came out here to make sure we were up to date on how and when we would make it out. The final plan came Friday morning, to leave Fontana, Ca home to Dad of the reason I'm here, at 5am. The idea was for me to spend saturday evening there, but saturday evening when I had yet to pack up the car by 9pm I decided it best to finish the loading of the car, get as much sleep as I could and leave for Fontana, Ca from Moorpark, Ca at 3am. Of course I didn't manage to lay down until 1am. I awoke at 2, hopped in the shower, packed the last of my things in the overstuffed box I call my car, and was on the road. We caravaned from Fontana to Los Lunas making a total of 4 stops. When I filled my gas tank which only hit empty after 410 miles I calculated gas mileage-40miles to the gallon! Apparently not only is my car awesome, but if you are driving 65 the whole time, it gets kick a^^ mileage!
Only once we were about an hour outside of our town of destination was I overwhelmed with the sensation of what I was doing, and then flooded with gratitude for the lack of stability in my life. Something that has been a fear of mine as of late...it's turned over now. I was also struck with a sensation of mass confusion, there is nothing here, and how can nothing be so beautiful? Also once we were about an hour outside the reason I am here talked to me about the plans for the next couple weeks, we will not be just us in the house for 2 weeks, there will be 5 of us sharing a 2 bedroom house this week, then we lose one and will be down to the 4 of us the following week. A 2 bedroom house on a 4 acre ranch was pictured very differently in my head then the reality of the magnificence of what we arrived to see. As exhausted as I was, and all I wanted to do was sleep, I took a tour of my new summer home and very much love the house. I don't very much love the bugs. I was introduced to many exciting things that will happen, and I will hopefully be able to share them all. For now I have showered, taken a sauna, brushed my teeth, put on comfy pjs and am ready to crash out.
Only once we were about an hour outside of our town of destination was I overwhelmed with the sensation of what I was doing, and then flooded with gratitude for the lack of stability in my life. Something that has been a fear of mine as of late...it's turned over now. I was also struck with a sensation of mass confusion, there is nothing here, and how can nothing be so beautiful? Also once we were about an hour outside the reason I am here talked to me about the plans for the next couple weeks, we will not be just us in the house for 2 weeks, there will be 5 of us sharing a 2 bedroom house this week, then we lose one and will be down to the 4 of us the following week. A 2 bedroom house on a 4 acre ranch was pictured very differently in my head then the reality of the magnificence of what we arrived to see. As exhausted as I was, and all I wanted to do was sleep, I took a tour of my new summer home and very much love the house. I don't very much love the bugs. I was introduced to many exciting things that will happen, and I will hopefully be able to share them all. For now I have showered, taken a sauna, brushed my teeth, put on comfy pjs and am ready to crash out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)