Day 82-94 Sept 1-13

Some of the days specifics I can't remember, so they only reflect the event in my calendar.
82 Wed Sept 1 day off.
83 Thurs Sept 2 work 2-10
84 Fri Sept 3 work 3-11
85 Sat Sept 4 work 3-11
86 Sun Sept 5 work graveyard
87 Mon Sept 6 work graveyard
88 Tues Sept 7 work graveyard
89 Wed Sept 8 meeting at 2, work graveyard. I was supposed to start a computer class offered at work, but as the day was growing new and I started into my upcoming schedule and had thus decided to leave on Oct 1 and the class did not end until Oct 13, I decided not to take it. Sleep was not going to be continually, as half way through my typical sleep time there was a mandatory work meeting. That kind of sucked, since it turned out only to be 1/2 hour and I had to drive 1/2 hour each way plus break up my sleep. I technically got enough sleep. Oh well what's one day in my life that I barely remember now, not even a week later? How important was it? Although I wasn't feeling well and very grateful to have the next day off.
90 Thurs Sept 9 day off! My intention was to go to the local in town meeting, but I slept right through it. I slept for 12 hours, and what I didn't know yet was I had gotten sick. Not a flu or a cold, just one of those times where my auto-immune diseased body just wasn't working at a normal rate and had become drained of the energy to do much of anything remotely simple, including showering and the likes. I spent the day sleeping, woke up in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, camped myself in front of the tv until I was tired enough to do some more sleeping and headed to bed.
91 Fri Sept 10 sick day :(....to be rudely awakened by my alarm and this overwhelming sense of just not feeling good. The blah lack of energy and motivation sense that I had not realized actually started the day before. I decided that I simply needed a shower and that would do the trick, since I had gotten more than plenty of sleep the day before. After my shower and still feeling not good I headed into my room for work clothes at which moment my bed just needed to be made! In the effort of making my bed I became increasingly aware of the fact that I was not going to suddenly get a burst of energy that would take me through the next 8 or so hours. I still was trying to deny it and debating in my head whether or not to push myself when she came in my doorway to talk to me. At which point opening my mouth I uttered a grumble that sounded like I feel like crap and she suggested I call in sick to work. I instantly agreed and yet debated for another 10 minutes or so, still not wanting it to be true. I finished making the bed and drained completely of all my energy after such a menial task decided that I would in fact call in sick. I felt terrible because I know how short handed we are, but I know taking care of me comes first. I was ultimately grateful to have done so, as the day wore on I felt worse and worse and drifted in and out of bouts of sleeping alternating with a sincere feeling of ickyness. I planted myself on the sofa in front of the tv and at some point during one of my sleep sessions which I awoke from found that one of my housemates had added an additional blanket to my small throw I was donning. I smiled in the gratitude and compassion of the gesture and continued to just be. At some point I made it to my room, sick of the television and sofa and in need of consistent sleep, and found it to be a lost cause, but lay there and tried anyways.
92 Sat Sept 11 sick missed Andy's party. I was grateful to know Andy's party would not be until the evening and had decided that as long as I rested all day I would in fact feel well enough to attend. I only had to drive into albuquerque since I was carpooling with her and her new man. I planted myself once again in front of the tv at the point that I could not sleep any longer and spent the day watching tv and drifting in and out of sleep. I still wasn't feeling any better but was trying to muster the energy to get up and get to the party! I was sleeping when my alarm to get up and get ready went off. I stood up, picked my blanket up off the sofa, headed into the bedroom to put it away, crawled into bed and went to sleep, thinking when I wake up in a few hours I will just drive to the party and be a little late. A few hours ended up being about 10 hours. I awoke, checked the clock, was sad to have missed the party and decided I would stay in bed and sleep until I needed to be up for work the next afternoon. Alas, I was no longer tired. I rejoined the living room sofa and turned on the tv. Somewhere around a weird nothing on tv hour, I took to amusing myself making fun of infomercials, until a disney movie came on(they play movies in the middle of the night, for who I'm not sure). Unable to get any more sleep I squared with the fact that by the time I got off work I would be up for 24 hours. I decided I would go to the meeting, come back and nap for a bit before work and be alright.
93 Sun Sept 12 corrales, lunch, work 3-11. I finally had enough energy to force myself up and out. Knowing myself I grabbed my work clothes in case I should feel not tired and want to go out fellowshipping. I'm grateful to have such an intimate knowledge of myself, since this is precisely what happened. Still having felt bad for missing the party I was grateful to see people at the meeting, and get great hugs. I did in fact join a good group of people at an Italian buffet for lunch where I amazed several people by eating pasta. It was good, but I should not have had a second helping. The second helping was not nearly as good and really, I feel made the discomfortable bloatey feeling later that much worse. I was at work about 1/2 hour earlier than I needed to be so I grabbed a quick nap in the car in the parking lot. I'm glad I did cuz I think it helped me get through the next 6 and 1/2 hours. Sadly it was quite dead at work. Luckily the co worker I was working with is a fantastic conversationalist and that kept me entertained for several hours. Somewhere toward the end of my shift I was soooooo tired and rested my head on my clothes and closed my eyes for about 10 minutes interrupted only by the one phone call that my very understanding kind coworker who was answering calls for me couldn't get to. That took me up to the last 1/2 hour of the shift in which we just chatted the time away. The 10 minutes or so that I closed my eyes for did miracles for allowing me to be awake enough to drive back to the ranch safely. I got in, skipped the nightly routine of brushing my teeth and washing my face and crashed in bed from sheer exhaustion. Nothing disturbed my sleep. It was like a Nyquil knockout sleep sans the Nyquil.
94 Mon Sept 13 grave shift, killer headache I slept an exact 8 hours and awoke earlier than I needed to be up for meeting and graveyard shift, unable to close my eyes and sleep anymore. I brushed my teeth and washed my face and suddenly decided that the overwhelming dirt in the bathroom was motivation enough to have the energy to clean it! I also determined that I would dust the living room as well. After tackling the bathroom, I had drained the little energy that I had gained back and decided I would rest for a bit then tackle the dusting. I planted myself on the sofa, and after a few minutes determined I needed to get enough rest that I wouldn't be so tired being up another 24 hours by the time I actually got home from my impending graveyard shift, with every intention of going to the meeting that night. After sitting for only a moment I was struck by this insane headache. Nothing else felt that icky sick I'd been feeling for days, but my head was throbbing, and stabbing, and shooting sharp pains across itself. The first round of tylenol barely dulled the sensation and the moments where I would get sleepy enough to maybe nap, the pain dictated otherwise. I increased my water intake accordingly and took another round of tylenol when I figured enough time had passed. Somewhere in the interm I washed my towels. So now the bathroom and my towels were clean, which when I did go to take a shower made me feel quite good. Around the time that I would need to get ready to make the meeting my head pain had increased and I battled with the idea of not going for an hour before determining that I would not be able to accomplish sitting through the meeting or fellowship and a full night at work. I was rather unhappy about the fact that work had to come over my recovery, but many times since I've had this job I have been faced with this unbalance. The worst part being that I have always preached recovery is my priority and there is always time for recovery. Which has been true for me till this point in my recovery, and now my truth has shifted, with a deeper understanding, empathy and compassion. Around 7:30pm the pain had subsided enough to let me sleep, and I did so for and hour and a half until my alarm to get up and get going silently vibrated itself off the table, waking me not with its vibrations but its crash to the floor. Surprising myself with an ease and speed of getting showered and dressed I had an extra half hour to spare which I filled with and over due lower half of my leg-waxing. Ahh the joys of the mundane tasks of life. Movies make these things so much more glamorous. I made it to work on time and now sit here catching up on facebook posts, 2 weeks of back blog, some writing and talking to my coworker at the front desk. I figured if I got exhausted I could rest my head uninterrupted for at least an hour. Which is normally true. The ringing phone would wake me. It appears as though my hour and half nap knocked out the worst of my headache and has given my insomnia enough energy to stay up all night. I can sleep all day tomorrow, and wake when I wake. I am gradually gaining back my energies and I know the process will be slow over the next few weeks. I look forward with much excitement to my road trip back to cali via the grand canyon for 2 days and my mom's for a week or soish. I am grateful to have a room to rent when I get back in town starting in November, and friends who will host me until then. I am free of the chains of my biological family and so grateful always for choices in my life(and my mom!). That about catches me up. In 2 weeks this adventure blog will see its end, and live forever immortalized amongst the streaming internet.